Navigating Addictive Relationships

By: Regina Hopkins

“I’m miserable when I’m with them, but I miss them horribly when I’m not with them.”

Have you ever felt this in a relationship? If so, you may be in something called an addictive relationship. Addictive relationships are characterized by:

  Being “on” and “off” again and again (many failed attempts at ending the relationship).

 You allow yourself to be pulled back into the relationship, even if you’ve tried to end it before.

Have a hard time going “no contact” with the person (if you’ve decided to end things). You may keep a window “cracked” open just in case.

You feel like you may never find somebody else again.

You give yourself reasons for staying in the relationship that is skewed (not accurate with the reality of the situation.

Even though others have pointed out that the relationship is unhealthy and likely to remain, you feel “stuck” and don’t know how to get out.

If you’re trying to leave a relationship that is characterized as “addictive”, here are some helpful tips to keep in mind:

Identify your needs and focus on getting those needs met more effectively.

Engage in as many activities daily as you can that help bring you a sense of peace and tranquility or calmness.

Practice daily gratitude. Keep a gratitude journal and start your day off by noting 3 things to be grateful for.

Find a support group of like-minded individuals who can understand what you’re going through.

Make a list of the things that you don’t like that your partner has done to you and feel your feelings around that.

Identify and learn from relationship games and roles where you tend to fall into the rescuer, blame, or victim.

Identify the relationship “crazy cycle.” For instance: anticipation – encounter – momentary bliss – confusion – departure – longing – despair. This is just an example; identify the cycle within your own relationship.

Write down what is being fulfilled in your addictive relationship (a sense of belonging, feeling wanted, etc.). Notice the temporary “fix” you encounter when you are with your person; identify the “promise” or “hope” temporarily being fulfilled.

Write down the common obsessive thoughts you have regarding your person.

Consider talking with a professional therapist.

 OTHER COUNSELING SERVICES OFFERED AT WELLMINDED COUNSELING

Therapy for depression isn’t the only service we offer. WellMinded Counseling offers the following counseling services:

• Substance Abuse Counseling

• EMDR

• Couples Therapy

• Relationship Counseling

• Depression Treatment

• Trauma Treatment

• Teen therapy

• Self-Esteem Counseling

What is emotion focused therapy?

By: Dayna Sammartino

You’re looking for a therapist or even just considering counseling because you’re struggling in your relationship. You and your partner just can’t get on the same page and you keep getting stuck in the same cycle with the same argument or you can’t seem to get past that one thing.

You feel distant, tired, exasperated, hopeless, and alone…but this is your person.

You don’t want to lose them. You want to hold on tight and you’re afraid of making the wrong move or pushing them away. One of you is constantly seeking out the other who only seems to go away. Perhaps you’re in preservation mode and are desperately avoiding upsetting your partner. You may feel like you have to keep your emotions under lock and key, or like you wear your emotions on your sleeve. Either way you’re both feeling alone on separate islands.

This is where Emotion Focused Therapy comes in

In a nutshell, EFT focuses on bonding and emotional security within the relationship. It can be practiced with individuals, couples, and families, and is practiced around the world.

It goes beyond skill building (you know… those communication skills and rules for fair fighting you stumbled on but have never been able to stick with) and actually aims to evoke emotional experiences in therapy. 

I know what you’re thinking, “We’re focusing on feelings in therapy? YIKES.”

Yep. You heard right. We do this because research shows that working on what’s happening here and now and experiencing your emotions in a safe place where you’re met with empathy and validation is what creates lasting change. Together, we look at patterns within the relationship where you continue to get stuck, preventing you from feeling any different despite those skills you learned. 

EFT can be broken into 3 basic steps:

De-escalation

Your therapist will work to de-escalate your negative cycle of interactions to help you see and understand what’s happening in your relationship

Restructuring

Your therapist will help you open up about your fears (not about spiders… real deep-seated fears) using empathy and validation, so as to not push each other away

Consolidation

Your therapist will help you recognize how you got into a negative cycle and how to stop it in its tracks. This way you can continue to have vulnerable and meaningful conversations in the future

You’ll learn how to listen and attune to your partner’s emotional needs and respond in more productive ways. It is hard work and so worth it in the end. Now get out there and break those negative cycles!

BEGIN WORKING WITH AN EFT THERAPIST IN broomfield, co or tampa, fl

If you’re looking for support in your relationship, you may want to consider reaching out to an EFT therapist. A therapist can help you gain more clarity around your emotions and work through the negative patterns showing up in your relationship. If you are interested in getting set up with an EFT therapist at WellMinded Counseling, you can follow these steps to start:

1. Contact our counseling office to schedule a free 15 minute consultation

2. Meet with one of our EFT therapists and learn more about our therapy services

3. Learn how to strengthen your connection with your partner through EFT

OTHER COUNSELING SERVICES OFFERED AT WELLMINDED COUNSELING

Emotion Focused Therapy is just one of the many services that our team of caring therapists provide. WellMinded Counseling offers the following counseling services:

• Substance Abuse Counseling

• EMDR

• Couples Therapy

• Relationship Counseling

• Depression Treatment

• Trauma Treatment

• Teen therapy

• Self-Esteem Counseling
  
  
  
  
  

The importance of suicide prevention and how you can help

As a team, WellMinded Counseling attended the After Dark Suicide Prevention Walk in downtown Denver on September 17, 2022. After our experience, we saw a need to provide you with more resources and information to help prevent suicide.

This can be a scary, and challenging topic to talk about. And often no one wants to have to really face the pain and devastation that suicide brings. The grief that comes during a time when someone is struggling or after the completion of suicide is heart-wrenching and can last a lifetime.

There is hope, and healing. There can be a movement towards connection, love, and safety.

The Importance of Suicide Prevention

That’s why we at WellMinded Counseling do the work we do, to help people on this journey and come to a place of peace and healing. And that is why in this blog we are sharing some common myths about suicide, steps to help yourself or a loved one that is struggling with suicidal thoughts, and community resources.

The Truth About Suicide and suicide prevention

Myth: Suicide attempts or deaths happen without warning.

Truth: It’s more likely that suicide intention was not recognized or asked about. 

Myth: Once a person is intent on suicide, there is no way of stopping them.

Truth: Suicides can be prevented. People can be helped, and suicide can be prevented.

Myth: Only certain types of people become suicidal.

Truth: Everyone has the potential for suicide. When a person feels a level of hopelessness, disconnection, and despair as well as other inscribing challenging emotions to process, everyone is capable.

Myth: Every death is preventable.

Truth: No matter how well-intentioned, alert, and diligent people's efforts may be, there is no way of preventing all suicides from occurring. Blaming yourself will not bring the person back, and neither will magical thinking about changing the past.

STeps to help yourself or a loved one struggling with suicidal thoughts

1. Evidence shows asking someone if they're suicidal can protect them. By asking someone directly about suicide, you give them permission to tell you how they feel, and let them know that they are not a burden.

2. The important thing is to let the person know you will support them, without judgment, as far as you are able to. You don’t need to change what they are going through for them.

3. Be a part of their support network and find a support network that feels safe.

4. Engage in self-care, and model self-care for others.

Reach Out to a Depression Therapist in Broomfield, CO or Tampa, FL

If you’re struggling with depression, please know that there is hope. Working with a therapist that specializes in depression can help. We offer depression therapy in Broomfield, CO and Tampa, FL. We can also offer therapy services to anyone in the states of Florida or Colorado through online therapy. You don’t have to navigate this on your own.

You can follow these steps to start:

1. Contact our counseling office to schedule a free 15-minute consultation

2. Meet with one of our caring therapists and learn more about our therapy services

3. Gain relief from depression with the support of a therapist

OTHER COUNSELING SERVICES OFFERED AT WELLMINDED COUNSELING

Therapy for depression isn’t the only service we offer. WellMinded Counseling offers the following counseling services:

• Substance Abuse Counseling

• EMDR

• Couples Therapy

• Relationship Counseling

• Depression Treatment

• Trauma Treatment

• Teen therapy

• Self-Esteem Counseling

An Anxiety Therapist's Advice on Coping with Anxiety

Anxiety can show up in a many different ways in someones life.

It can look like restlessness, irritability, racing thoughts, ruminating, or feeling isolated. However, it can also present through physical symptoms such as poor sleep, change in appetite, tense muscles, and shortness of breathe.

Anxiety can be caused by millions of different things. Everything from changing a job, heading off to college, money or food insecurity, our health, and so much more.

The emotion of anxiety can cause a change in our physical and mental state.

It can be very distressing and interfere with our daily lives. However, there are ways you can cope with anxiety and learn how to manage it.

Here is my advice as an anxiety therapist

In some circumstances people find themselves existing in “emotion mind”. This is a state of mind defined in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy as being governed by our moods, emotions, and how we’re feeling. It’s essentially when we are acting based on the urges that arise from our emotional state, rather than any sort of thought out plan.

However, using both Reasonable Mind and Emotion Mind simultaneously would be more effective.

This is a state that would be identified as Wise Mind, which is the synthesis of reasonable mind and emotion mind. It’s where these two states of mind overlap. It takes into account both the rational and emotional, our logic and our feelings.

However, anxiety and other strong emotions can often prevent people from using their logic.

This can cause anxiety to last longer and create a longer term impact on the worried/anxious individual. That’s why it’s important to learn to observe events or experiences in a more balanced way.

Skills to manage anxiety

Utilizing Distress Tolerance skills can allow for some soothing from the chaos that anxiety may bring in your life. Distress tolerance skills help you reach a more manageable emotional place when things begin to feel overwhelming.

One of the most important skills is Radical Acceptance.

It teaches us that sometimes there are situations in life we can not change, can not control and probably are outside of our circle of influence. In Radical Acceptance, you don’t have to approve or like something, but accepting it will allow you to feel peace and provide you with the space to move on.

Radical Acceptance acknowledges that we all have choices, and it sometimes comes down to choosing whether or not we are going to accept the reality of our situations. To put it bluntly, you can choose to stay miserable about a situation or you can choose to accept it and move forward. However, this is easier said than done, which is why gaining support from a therapist can help.

How Anxiety Therapy Can Help

Working with a therapist can help you learn and practice skills like these more frequently, and incorporate them in your daily life.

Reading information like this on the internet or hearing it in a video is useful. However, it’s not the same as talking through situations with a therapist and learning how to make change in your life.

Having a therapist hold you accountable can be the extra push you may need to manage your anxiety more effectively.

Changing your behavior isn't as easy as we all want it to be, it takes persistent practice and intention, and a strong “why”. Try not to become too discouraged if you try these or other skills and need longer term support to see their effectiveness. It’s okay to reach out for support.

Begin working with an anxiety therapist in tampa, fl or broomfield, co

If you’re looking for support in managing your anxiety, therapy can help! Working with a therapist that specializes in anxiety can help you understand your anxiety and how to manage your symptoms. At WellMinded Counseling, we offer anxiety therapy in Tampa, FL and Broomfield, CO. We’re also able to offer anxiety therapy to anyone living within Florida and Colorado through online counseling.

If you are interested in getting set up with a therapist at WellMinded Counseling, you can follow these simple steps:

1. Contact our counseling office to schedule a free 15 minute consultation

2. Meet with one of our anxiety therapists and learn more about our therapy services

3. Gain support in managing your anxiety

OTHER COUNSELING SERVICES OFFERED AT WELLMINDED COUNSELING

Anxiety therapy isn’t the only service we offer. WellMinded Counseling offers the following counseling services:

• Substance Abuse Counseling

• EMDR

• Couples Therapy

• Relationship Counseling

• Depression Treatment

• Trauma Treatment

• Teen therapy

• Self-Esteem Counseling

The NEDA Walk: Promoting Eating Disorder Treatment and Awareness

WHAT ARE EATING DISORDERS?

Eating disorders are mental health conditions marked by an obsession with food or body shape. They can impact people of all ages, genders, orientations, races, and socioeconomic statuses. Eating disorders are more common than you may think. Approximately 28.8 million people will suffer from some form of an eating disorder throughout their life. 

Forms of eating disorders include:

• Anorexia Nervosa

• Pica

• Bulimia Nervosa

• Rumination Disorder

• Binge Eating Disorder

• Avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder

WHAT is the national eating disorder association?

NEDA is a non-profit that supports individuals and families affected by eating disorders. It serves as a catalyst for prevention, treatment, and access to quality care. Their main hope and goal is to eventually create a world without eating disorders. At the moment they provide as much help and information as they can to those suffering from eating disorders.

They also offer:

• Free helplines

• Information to help prevent eating disorders

• Walks

• Information on how eating disorders can affect anyone

• Body acceptance week

• Help to find proper treatment

• Back to school guide for students, parents, and teachers

• Information on how social media affects eating disorders

• Screening tool

• Tools to help fight against relapse

EATING DISORDER SCREENING TOOL

NEDA supplies a screening tool for people 13 or older that allows them to see where they stand in needing to seek professional help for disordered eating. The screening tool asks very personal and open ended questions which encourage people to realize what they are doing and how their disordered eating may be impacting them.

EATING DISORDER TREATMENT AND RECOVERY

Many people believe that recovery for eating disorders simply requires admitting to it and getting help. However, according to NEDA recovery, it’s actually a life long development and is often easier with a sound support system. Eating disorder researchers have yet to develop a set of criteria to accurately define what factors are necessary.

Why do relapses occur during eating disorder recovery?

One of the main reasons recovery is a life long development is because life is always changing. Changes can sometimes be seen as sudden and/or stressful, and often disordered eating is a reaction to this as a way to cope.

Some examples of events that can cause relapse are:

• Going off to college

• Moving to a new town or away from home

• Starting a new job

• Financial challenges

• Infertility or getting pregnant

• Birth of a child

• Marriage or divorce

• Death of a loved one

• Diagnosis of a chronic disease

• Menopause

COMMON WARNING SIGNS OF RELAPSE

Just as all eating disorders are slightly different, so are all relapses. Still, many have a similar set of signs that can help identify potential problems:

• Avoiding meals and events involving food

• Making efforts to eat alone

• A return to obsessing about food and weight

• Overwhelming feelings of shame and guilt after eating

• Concealing information from loved ones and your treatment team

• Resuming repeatedly checking appearance in the mirror and weighing outside of treatment

• Justifying small slips and lapses, saying that it’s no big deal or it’s not that bad

• Becoming irritable when the subject of food or eating disorders is brought up

• An increase in stress with no way to manage it

• Increasing anxiety, perfectionism, and depression

• Sleep disturbances

• Isolation from friends and loved ones

the NEDA WALK in denver, co

NEDA Walks are inspirational, community-building events. They are an opportunity for passionate walkers to raise money to fund eating disorders education, prevention, and support, as well as advocacy and research initiatives. The largest eating disorders awareness events in the nation, NEDA Walks are a celebration of hope and strength. They are filled with body-positive activities, motivational guest speakers, and a short walk to symbolize unity in the fight against eating disorders.

NEDA Walks create a safe and supportive space where no one will feel alone in their battle. It seems as though everybody knows somebody who’s been affected by an eating disorder - so everybody is invited to walk with us! Together, we’ll stand up to stigma and send the message that recovery is possible.

WHY participate in THE NEDA WALK?

With over 30 million people suffering from eating disorders, many families have begun to feel hopeless. The NEDA walk brings in funds, restores hope, and changes conversation surrounding eating disorders. 

Raise awareness of Eating disorders

Eating disorders are widely misunderstood illnesses, and old stereotypes and myths often prevent people from seeking help. Help fight stigma and shine a light on eating disorders as a serious public health issue.

Raise critical funds for Eating Disorder research and treatment

By participating in the NEDA Walk, you’ll be raising funds that support vital programs, advocacy efforts, and research initiatives.

Join the community to fight against eating disorders

Join our community of passionate walk warriors who are dedicated to winning the fight against eating disorders. Together, we’ll walk stride in stride toward hope and recovery. 

The NEDA walk is all about raising awareness, and funds for further research, as well as providing resources to expand access to care.

WellMinded Counseling is a part of this effort and we encourage anyone who may be struggling to reach out for support and therapy.

BEGIN WORKING WITH An eating disorder therapist in broomfield, co

Recovering from an eating disorder is possible, and you don’t have to do it on your own. Working with a therapist will provide you with support as you begin treatment to improve your body image and self-worth.

If you’re ready to begin eating disorder counseling in Broomfield, CO or online therapy in Colorado, we encourage you to take the following steps:

1. Contact our counseling office to learn more about our services

2. Get set up with a eating disorder therapist on our team

3. Gain freedom from disordered eating

OTHER COUNSELING SERVICES OFFERED AT WELL MINDED COUNSELING CENTER

Our therapists work with clients of all ages and are able to address a wide variety of mental health concerns. WellMinded Counseling offers the following counseling services:

• Substance Abuse Counseling

• EMDR

• Couples Therapy

• Relationship Counseling

• Anxiety Treatment

• Depression Treatment

• Trauma Treatment

• Teen therapy

• Self-Esteem Counseling